Junk Mail Love

Just got this junk mail proposition ...


Hello my new friend! You probably will be very much surprised to my letter. And where I could find your electronic address. One of these days I was registered a site of acquaintances. And today to me from him there has come the reference with your address. In it it was spoken, that we with you harmonious pair. And I have decided to write to you this letter. My name is Elena,

So far so good. Elena might sound like Yoda's daughter but I give her the benifit of the doubt ..

It continues ..

me of 27 years. My growth of 168 sm,

Hey hold on there Yoda, you have a growth of 168 sm? I've no idea what an "sm" is but that growth sounds fuckin huge. It's a real whopper and may need medical attention....

.. my weight of 53 kg. I the quiet, romantic girl. I want to meet in the life the present love. In my opinion, At all a variety of nationalities occupying our planet. In the world there is that uniqu person, With which I can find happiness and family rest. My dream, it to create family, To leave in marriage for remarkable the man, to give birth to children.

To leave in marriage? We haven't even met yet and already you're tubbed and planning on fucking off and leaving me with the wee ones.

... and together with the loved person To aspire to bring up ours with it children that they became the most remarkable people. Actually I very modest girls and vulnerable.

You very modest girls? How many of you are there?

To me to not like, when people to face speak one, And behind a back another is completely.

Shit I think my brain just broke. Elena just got existential on my ass...


.. and I think, that from the very beginning of ours with you of acquaintance. We should be fair with each other.

Yes we should be fair with each other, Yoda or Elena or who ever. Fair would be not talking in tongues yeah ...

As in the first letter, I want to send you the photo. I hope that it to like you.

I'm sure your photo will love me, sure why wouldn't it...

If you were interested with my letter. And you as well as I want to meet the present love in the life. That I think to us with you it is necessary to begin ours with you acquaintance. Who knows, it is possible we are really harmonious with you. Also we shall create the best in the world a pair.

Harmonious acquaintance indeed I think. But figure Yoda/Elena needs to lay off the crack pipe. Then I notice the sending address is from one Levi Jordan and any urge to harmonize our acquaintance quickly dissipates ....