Child Of Prague !!

Fuckin Child Of Prague my arse. There are people here in my place of labor, and by people I mean women, who firmly hold true that a statue of the Child Of Prague, placed in the back garden of an evening will result in the following day being rain free. Apparently it’s an old wives tale and is mostly observed or should I say put into action on the night before a wedding. I’m not sure where this ridiculous notion comes from but I voiced my concerns and told all assembled that it was complete and utter shite. "It's complete and utter shite" I said, "I don’t fuckin care if you bury a whole family of the cunts it’ll have no effect on the weather. I mean what happens if you accidently throw it out into the front garden instead of the back garden does that result in a hurricane? If the thing really works then why don’t we all get together and organize to put one out on alternate days and have ourselves a rain free summer. I mean is that what happened in Africa did someone bury the Child Of Prague and forget where it was thus resulting in drought and famine?" Maybe it’s more powerful than I thought, or maybe it’s just bollocks.

Plastic Paddy's

So there I stood staring out at the fuckin miserable pissy muck falling from the sky wondering what the fuck the Irish ever did to deserve summers of this shiteous magnitude. Seriously the last time it rained like this Atlantis sank! I read that in a book somewhere so it must be true. As I stood my ponderings began to drift from wondering about the weather to wondering why the fuck the queue wasn’t moving. I strained to catch sight of the person being served. It was one of those non cash carrying cunts who insist on using a laser or debit or credit or as I like to call it the slow the fuck up card. Has every one in Ireland gone mad? What’s wrong with carrying cash? Not only did the bint at the till not have cash but the five or six plebs behind her had no cash, all plastic. Cunts.

Was in Chicago for a few weeks. Great place, great city, but full of Yanks, but as a friend pointed out “sure America’s infested with them”. They have beach’s in Chicago too. Beach’s not bitches. We could have beach’s in Dublin too. There could have been one on the N3 on Saturday, there was enough bloody water wha?

The weather reports on the news will be good this week. It'll be like a competition to see how many ways one can describe rain. The Eskimos have 100 words for snow we could rival them for words for rain.

“Well today we had light rain, showery rain, heavy rain and patchy rain. There was blustery rain, straight down rain and some of that crazy rain that comes at you sideways from around a corner and blows up into your face. Tomorrow we’ll have more rain with a chance of showers. The wind will be from the east, west north and south. It’ll be blowing in a circle basically so you’ll be dizzy as fuck in no time but sure it’ll take your mind off the rain.”