Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Knob Jockey
Jonathan “Stands-Too-Close-To-You” Ryhs Meyers has entered rehab. Well their all doing it now aren’t they dahling. Although his publicist has said the stint in rehab is to aid his recovery from alcohol addiction I reckon it’s to try and take that stupid fuckin look off his face. He always has eyes on him like a crow looking into a jam pot but it’s nothing a belt of a shovel wouldn’t fix. I saw him on the Late Late Shite one night being interviewed by that vacuous waste of space that is Pat “The-Plank” Kenney, I’m not proud of it but I was fascinated by his utter cuntishness, anyway Meyers said he spent an absolute fortune getting his teeth done i.e. taken out, beat into shape and hammered back in. I think he should have spent a bit extra getting his eyes fully opened, his gob straightened and that poker taken out of his arse.
Max hand me the sledge ….
Friday, April 20, 2007
For Fuck Sake.
Two things made me stop and say for fuck sake today.
OLDBOY
ONE of the photographs in the Virginia Tech killer's "multimedia manifesto" may have been inspired by a bloody South Korean movie.
Pictures of Cho Seung-Hui brandishing weapons, released by NBC, seem straight from the film 'Oldboy' which its tagline: "15 years of imprisonment . . . five days of vengeance".
'Oldboy' (right), from the respected director Chan-woo Park, is about a man, Dae-Su, unjustly imprisoned for 15 years. After escaping, he goes on a rampage against his captor. In one scene, he dispatches more than a dozen henchmen with the aid of a hammer.
Dae-Su embarks on a rampage of violence and bizarre torture. He extracts teeth with a claw-hammer, consumes a live octopus, and has live ants creeping all over him. He even goes so far as to chop off his own tongue. In the package of materials that Cho sent to NBC News, one photo shows the killer brandishing a hammer in a pose similar to one from the film. 'Oldboy' the second film in Park's Vengeance Trilogy won the Grand Prix at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival.
The connection was spotted by Professor Paul Harris of Virginia Tech, who alerted authorities. The similarities have prompted speculation, especially in online forums, that Cho's entire massacre may have been inspired by 'Oldboy'.
Notorious killers are commonly linked to movies or music. Some have dismissed the connection as "the most ridiculous hypothesis yet" saying there was no apparent link between Cho and 'Oldboy' besides the lone photograph among the 28 video clips, 23-page written message and 43 self-portrait photos that he sent to NBC. Cho did not seem to reference the film in any of his notes or messages.
Derek Malcolm, of the Evening Standard, said of the film, "It makes Kill Bill look like the proverbial vicarage tea party." (© Independent News Service)
For fuck sake! So it had nothing to do with the ease of access to weapons and ammunition but may be related to the fact that Cho Seung-Hui may have seen Oldboy. Goway and shite you daft yankee fucktards. I've seen Oldboy numerous times and regard it as cinematic masterpiece, no bubblegum American happy endings. But never have I wanted to kill people afterwards. Besides in the end of Oldboy your man cuts off his own tongue did Cho Seunf-Hui cut out his tongue? I think not! If movies are the root of all evil why don't obese big heap Americans sue the makers of Willie Wonka?
BUSH
PRESIDENT George W Bush said yesterday he was concerned that Iran's nuclear ambitions will trigger an atomic arms race in the Middle East.
He expressed his concern after 'The New York Times' reported that the leaders of Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Egypt and Jordan, among other Middle Eastern states, were seeking to develop nuclear programmes for electricity.
The Times said that while interest in nuclear energy is rising globally, it is unusually strong in the Middle East and that the rush of activity appeared intended to counter the threat of a nuclear Iran.
For fuck sake! So its Iran’s fault that there may be an atomic arms race in the Middle East is it? Nothing to do with the fact that Israel has atomic weapons and has threatened to bomb Iran on behalf of the US, who as it happens also has atomic weapons. It has nothing to do with the fact that the US, among others, has never fully honoured the agreements of the non proliferation treaty i.e. dismantling their existing nuclear arsenal. It could certainly have nothing to do with the fact the current US administration has earmarked billions of dollars in the defence budget to the continued development of low yield tactical nuclear weapons. No of course not, sure it’s all Iran’s fault.
Max hand me my fouling piece ....
OLDBOY
ONE of the photographs in the Virginia Tech killer's "multimedia manifesto" may have been inspired by a bloody South Korean movie.
Pictures of Cho Seung-Hui brandishing weapons, released by NBC, seem straight from the film 'Oldboy' which its tagline: "15 years of imprisonment . . . five days of vengeance".
'Oldboy' (right), from the respected director Chan-woo Park, is about a man, Dae-Su, unjustly imprisoned for 15 years. After escaping, he goes on a rampage against his captor. In one scene, he dispatches more than a dozen henchmen with the aid of a hammer.
Dae-Su embarks on a rampage of violence and bizarre torture. He extracts teeth with a claw-hammer, consumes a live octopus, and has live ants creeping all over him. He even goes so far as to chop off his own tongue. In the package of materials that Cho sent to NBC News, one photo shows the killer brandishing a hammer in a pose similar to one from the film. 'Oldboy' the second film in Park's Vengeance Trilogy won the Grand Prix at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival.
The connection was spotted by Professor Paul Harris of Virginia Tech, who alerted authorities. The similarities have prompted speculation, especially in online forums, that Cho's entire massacre may have been inspired by 'Oldboy'.
Notorious killers are commonly linked to movies or music. Some have dismissed the connection as "the most ridiculous hypothesis yet" saying there was no apparent link between Cho and 'Oldboy' besides the lone photograph among the 28 video clips, 23-page written message and 43 self-portrait photos that he sent to NBC. Cho did not seem to reference the film in any of his notes or messages.
Derek Malcolm, of the Evening Standard, said of the film, "It makes Kill Bill look like the proverbial vicarage tea party." (© Independent News Service)
For fuck sake! So it had nothing to do with the ease of access to weapons and ammunition but may be related to the fact that Cho Seung-Hui may have seen Oldboy. Goway and shite you daft yankee fucktards. I've seen Oldboy numerous times and regard it as cinematic masterpiece, no bubblegum American happy endings. But never have I wanted to kill people afterwards. Besides in the end of Oldboy your man cuts off his own tongue did Cho Seunf-Hui cut out his tongue? I think not! If movies are the root of all evil why don't obese big heap Americans sue the makers of Willie Wonka?
BUSH
PRESIDENT George W Bush said yesterday he was concerned that Iran's nuclear ambitions will trigger an atomic arms race in the Middle East.
He expressed his concern after 'The New York Times' reported that the leaders of Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Egypt and Jordan, among other Middle Eastern states, were seeking to develop nuclear programmes for electricity.
The Times said that while interest in nuclear energy is rising globally, it is unusually strong in the Middle East and that the rush of activity appeared intended to counter the threat of a nuclear Iran.
For fuck sake! So its Iran’s fault that there may be an atomic arms race in the Middle East is it? Nothing to do with the fact that Israel has atomic weapons and has threatened to bomb Iran on behalf of the US, who as it happens also has atomic weapons. It has nothing to do with the fact that the US, among others, has never fully honoured the agreements of the non proliferation treaty i.e. dismantling their existing nuclear arsenal. It could certainly have nothing to do with the fact the current US administration has earmarked billions of dollars in the defence budget to the continued development of low yield tactical nuclear weapons. No of course not, sure it’s all Iran’s fault.
Max hand me my fouling piece ....
Monday, April 16, 2007
Oh The Pain ....
Got some new furniture delivered recently, yeah exciting isn’t it. My father and some friends helped with the delivery using a jeep. They put the armchair in the back of the jeep to take it away. As they left the house my father was thrilled with himself to be sitting in the back of the jeep in the armchair. All he was missing was the shot gun and he’d have been Jed Clampet. As they drove off I imagined them getting into an accident. Imagining some poor unfortunate crashing into them head on, the last thing the driver would see would be my father coming at them through the windscreen of the jeep, swiftly followed by an armchair and for a split second they’d think they had crashed head on into a living room.
Joined a gym the other day in a bid to get this body of mine into some sort of shape other than a capital O. Being a tad over zealous and not one to do things by halves I threw myself into it like a rapist at an orgy. After only twenty minutes I was sweating like a catholic priest and panting like a paedophile on a school bus. I was hoping from treadmill to cross trainer, yanking on the rowing machine like I was trying to outrow a tsunami. I went down the stairs to the weights room full of the joys of spring, bench pressing till my chest hurt, working the dumbbells till my arms went numb, pumping away on the leg machines till I got cramp and pretty much having a damn good work out. That was Friday morning. I went and did it all again Saturday morning with even more gusto than before but fuck me pink I’m practically crippled now. I can barely lift my arms. I feel as though I’ve been beaten across the chest and shoulders by a large man with a pick axe handle and I’m convinced I’ve got mastitis. I’m not giving up though, oh no, I’ll give it a few days and have a lash at it again. No pain no gain, and if the gain is to be derived proportional to the pain then I’ll be entering Mr. Universe in no time.
Max hand me the Diphene …
Joined a gym the other day in a bid to get this body of mine into some sort of shape other than a capital O. Being a tad over zealous and not one to do things by halves I threw myself into it like a rapist at an orgy. After only twenty minutes I was sweating like a catholic priest and panting like a paedophile on a school bus. I was hoping from treadmill to cross trainer, yanking on the rowing machine like I was trying to outrow a tsunami. I went down the stairs to the weights room full of the joys of spring, bench pressing till my chest hurt, working the dumbbells till my arms went numb, pumping away on the leg machines till I got cramp and pretty much having a damn good work out. That was Friday morning. I went and did it all again Saturday morning with even more gusto than before but fuck me pink I’m practically crippled now. I can barely lift my arms. I feel as though I’ve been beaten across the chest and shoulders by a large man with a pick axe handle and I’m convinced I’ve got mastitis. I’m not giving up though, oh no, I’ll give it a few days and have a lash at it again. No pain no gain, and if the gain is to be derived proportional to the pain then I’ll be entering Mr. Universe in no time.
Max hand me the Diphene …
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Not For The Faint Hearted
This is a link to a video showing Iraqi Police beating forty shades of shite out of some poor unfortunates. Criminals or not nobody deserves this kind of savage treatment and lets face it Iraq has hardly been a bedrock of honest policing in recent years, well not since God was only so high that he had to stand up on a hapenny bit to spit into a ducks arse. Anyway here’s the beating.
Americans In Wonderland ...
BAGHDAD — A day after members of an American congressional delegation led by Sen. John McCain pointed to their brief visit to Baghdad’s central market as evidence that the new security plan for the city is working, the merchants there were incredulous about the Americans’ conclusions.” What are they talking about?” Ali Jassim Faiyad, the owner of an electrical appliances shop in the market, said Monday. “The security procedures were abnormal!”
The delegation arrived at the market, which is called Shorja, on Sunday with more than 100 soldiers in armored humvees — the equivalent of an entire company — and attack helicopters circled overhead, a senior American military official in Baghdad said. The soldiers redirected traffic from the area and restricted access to the Americans, witnesses said, and sharpshooters were posted on the rooftops. The congressmen wore bullet-proof vests throughout their hour-long visit.
“They paralyzed the market when they came,” Faiyad said in his shop on Monday. “This was only for the media.”
He added, “This will not change anything.”
At a news conference shortly after their outing, McCain, R-Ariz., and his three congressional colleagues described Shorja as a safe, bustling place full of hopeful and warmly welcoming Iraqis — “like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime,” offered Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., who was a member of the delegation.
So according to senator Mike Pence visiting the Shorja market in Baghdad, having to wear a bulletproof vest, being accompanied by more than 100 soldiers in armored humvees, with attack helicopters circling overhead, and sharpshooters on the rooftops, somehow reminded him of “a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime.”
Screw Baghdad Indiana has gone to hell!
The delegation arrived at the market, which is called Shorja, on Sunday with more than 100 soldiers in armored humvees — the equivalent of an entire company — and attack helicopters circled overhead, a senior American military official in Baghdad said. The soldiers redirected traffic from the area and restricted access to the Americans, witnesses said, and sharpshooters were posted on the rooftops. The congressmen wore bullet-proof vests throughout their hour-long visit.
“They paralyzed the market when they came,” Faiyad said in his shop on Monday. “This was only for the media.”
He added, “This will not change anything.”
At a news conference shortly after their outing, McCain, R-Ariz., and his three congressional colleagues described Shorja as a safe, bustling place full of hopeful and warmly welcoming Iraqis — “like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime,” offered Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., who was a member of the delegation.
So according to senator Mike Pence visiting the Shorja market in Baghdad, having to wear a bulletproof vest, being accompanied by more than 100 soldiers in armored humvees, with attack helicopters circling overhead, and sharpshooters on the rooftops, somehow reminded him of “a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime.”
Screw Baghdad Indiana has gone to hell!
Keith Richards. Some Buachaill.
Keith Richards: "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," he said. "He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared, he didn't give a shit. It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."
I tried snorting my own father once but his feet stank and his toe got stuck in my nostril.
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