The Zorse The Bomb And The Gypsies

Sounds like an eastern European remake of ‘The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe’ but it aint.

The Zorse:



A more bastardised looking breed of animal you’d be hard pressed to find. Half horse and half zebra and coloured a bit of both. Other animals in the equine family interbreed with success too. Such as the donkey and the mule giving rise to the jinnet one of the few animals in the known world that could go extinct in the morning and yet in a few years there could be thousands again. I know lots of jinnets but not all of the equine variety. But the Zorse now that’s something you don’t see every day. Wouldn’t it be great if the human pigmentation was like that too. Most Americans would look like wibbly wobbly wonders.

The Bomb:

A Mercedes car packed with propane gas cylinders, fuel and lots of nails was discovered last night in London. The driver apparently crashed into some bins and then fled. Not exactly a brains kind of operation if you ask me. It was either Al Qeada or a carpenter in a hurry to an industrial barbeque. You’d imagine he would have been careful with his driving considering his cargo. Jaysus the IRA managed to bomb the fuck out of London for years with no such slip ups. Me thinks this guys heart wasn’t really in it. It was nice of Sky News to add that it probably wasn’t the Irish. Bunch of jumped up hairy arsed swamp donkeys.

The Gypsies:

Did you know that there are a bunch of gypsies, proper gypsies, Romanian gypsies, living on a roundabout in Ballymun. Fifty of these poor Romanian unfortunates have set up camp in the very middle of a large roundabout. You can’t see them from the road but their in there. The government issued a statement saying they were monitoring them. Monitoring them? For what one wonders? The thing that surprised me was when the head of their clan was interviewed he said that the conditions were bad but at least they were better than back in Romania. So where the fuck did these people live in Romania? In a sewer, in a hole in the ground, or in the sweaty hairy armpit of a Romanian lesbetron shot put thrower. Or perhaps at the bottom of this guys mouth, half man, half hippo.