English Smoking Ban …

While I was over in Britland they introduced the smoking ban, not for my benefit mind you, I think they had it planned, but introduced it was and to much furore, coughing and thumping of chests. Not that I noticed much difference in the hotel bar. There were ashtrays on the tables on Saturday and they were gone on Sunday but there were no fucking people either day so it hardly registered. I watched Central News on the idiot box on Sunday afternoon and they were showing pubs in the area who had hosted all night smoking parties. The images were voiced over by a health anal-ist and it was all hazy pictures of pasty skinned people puffing away like it cured cancer and all the while the anal-ist droned on. One half dying fellow who closely resembled something a crow shit during the famine puffed away on two cigarettes at the same time. Hardcore! Then the clock struck 6:00am and they were all extinguished, the cigarettes that is, not the smokers. The news clip then cut to some waxen faced bint landlady of the Cock and Tickle or the Hole n Bush or whatever the fuck it was called. There she was all tits and ass wiping the counter while a bodiless voice asked her opinion on the smoking ban. Oh it’s awful she intoned, just awful, I’m already noticing a loss in business. What the fuck! Loss in business my hole, it was just after midday the place had only been open a fucking hour.


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