These come courtesy of one Mr. Sheridan an avid fan of firing himself down mountains on a gate ....
My mouth's as dry as a nun's crack
He's so camp, he shites tent pegs
I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
I feel like a boiled shite (hungover)
(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
I left her with a face like a painters radio <<(I nearly wet myself reading this one!)
She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
A sniper wouldn't take her out
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a nettle.
She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab
If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall
Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her fanny
Feckin' classics the lot ...
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