God damn and blast to all fuckers on bikes. Twice this week I’ve been forced to drive at ten miles an hour because the dozy bint in the car in front refused to overtake a cyclist. Yes it may be a narrow road and yes there may be cars coming in the opposite direction but if you are so lacking in spatial awareness not to realise you could safely navigate the cyclist then you shouldn’t be driving a car. As for the fuckers on bikes, if you want to be green then cross the fucking fields. Then over the wireless a sultry voiced woman said "as Christmas is just around the corner isn’t it time you started thinking about…" I said NO. I wanted to rip the radio out of the dashboard and roar fuck you and the horse you rode in on into it. Christmas my hole I’m still waiting for summer. I got chatting at a tourist the other day and he asked me in all seriousness when summer was in Ireland, I said it’s hard to tell, last year it was a Wednesday. There is a grand smell of slurry in the air here today. It's the kind of smell that makes your toes curl and burns all the hair out of your nostrils. It reminds me of my childhood when my father use to make us shite into buckets and then spread them across his vegetable patch. Organic he called it. I've never been able to look a carrot in the face since...
Max close the porthole there's an awful smell of shite ...
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