East Kilbride, Glasgow, Scotland

I’m currently in East Kilbride, Glasgow, Scotland, a soulless lifeless hole of a place if ever there was one. The flight over was full of Scottish school kids who all looked like the bastard children of Rab C Nesbit and Avril Lavigne. Trendy skateboard Avril Lavigne types on the outside, half cut Rab C Nesbit types whenever they opened their mouths. East Kilbride has more roundabouts than you could shake a stick at and was obviously designed by a man who had just received a new ruler and compass set for his birthday. Every where two roads meet there's a roundabout, it must drive the yanks feckin mental. It’s nicknamed polo mint city for a reason.The Scottish diet leaves much to be desired, home to the battered deep fried Mars bar and the square sausage you’d get fat just from reading the menu and you’re arteries clog up just by walking through the restaurant. Every dish seems to come with chips so much so that I’m beginning to think they come out of the ground that way over here. The Glasgow accent is like an assault on the ears, they have fucked up words that make sense only to themselves and often speak like they have a mouth full of testicles. Where the Cork accent could be described as being defensive meaning Cork people sound like you're accusing them of something, the Glasgow accent is the complete opposite, they sound like their accusing you of something.

All that said I'm very fond of Scottish people, sure their practically Irish and at least their not English wha!