Old People Wha..

Have you ever stood at the bus stop and run a series of events through your head about what you would do or say to the person standing next to you if they decided to annoy you. Well it happened to me yesterday. I was standing waiting for the bus when this big lump of an ould one came and stood next to me. She must have been 80 if she was a day and what she lacked in height she made up for in girth. I sware to jaysus she was every bit as wide as she was tall. As we stood there in cold silence I started to imagine a conversation between us.

Ould one: Have I missed the bus.

Me: Well there's a 30% chance that you haven’t missed the bus. There is a 60% chance that you have and there is a 10% chance that you are at the wrong stop.

You see three buses stop at this particular stop, the 37, 38 and 237. The 37 and 237 had passed but not the 38. Hence I imagined the 60% chance she had missed the bus and the 30% chance she had not. The 10% was based on her advancing years and the possibility of senility.

Had she been more specific, I imagined, and enquired about a particular bus I would have been able to give her a more concise answer. All this went through my head as we stood there in silence. I was feeling rather aggravated at the stupidity of the question she never asked. I was getting annoyed at the old dear for something I imagined she might say.

I turned to face her and as I did she lifted her eyes to meet mine. The 38 had just pulled up. Just then I sowed her with a head butt right on the bridge of her nose. I heard a crisp crack as her nose broke and she went down like a sack of shit.

Was I wrong or is it okay to nut people who you imagine ask stupid questions?