Judging by the size of the boxes Jaysus was only the size of a leprechaun!
Claims that the limestone coffin of Jesus Christ has been identified in Jerusalem were rubbished last night by a senior Catholic prelate. The Bishop of Cork and Ross, Dr John Buckley, predicted that Christians will treat the claims by Hollywood director, James Cameron, with well justified suspicion and listen, instead, to the acknowledged experts. "I don't think too many Christians will buy into it," said Dr Buckley...
Christians won't buy into it eh.
Christians will buy into the idea of a man living in the sky, God, having made the world in six days. Dinosaurs? What dinosaurs?
Christians will buy into the idea that this God sent his only son Jaysus down to earth to save us, God said he would have used DHL but they couldn’t guarantee virginal delivery.
Christians will buy into the idea that God’s son was conceived without any human interaction. She just hiccupped and there he was.
Christians will buy into the idea that Jausys was able to raise the dead, walk on water, make blind people see by throwing sand in their eyes and turn water into wine. Apparently he was a dab hand at the fitted kitchens too.
Christians will buy into the idea of Jaysus being killed and raising himself from the dead a neat trick in any religion.
Christians, well at the very least Catholics, will buy into the idea that a priest can turn wine and bread into the body and blood of Jaysus, transubstantiation. Some Christians believe that when the rapture comes all the good little Christians will be raised, quiet literally, into heaven. Be a bit of a shock if you’re having a dump or on the job at the time.
Christians will buy into the idea that their God is the only God and a lack of faith in their God will send you to hell. Oddly enough Muslims believe there is no God but their God and Mohammed is his prophet. I think Mohammed picked spuds with Jaysus's father once, or they had turnips in the same field or something. Muslims believe infidels, and that includes Christians, are going straight to hell. So we're all going to hell apparently, it could get busy down there, no need for an overcoat.
Christians won't buy into it eh.
Christians will buy into the idea of a man living in the sky, God, having made the world in six days. Dinosaurs? What dinosaurs?
Christians will buy into the idea that this God sent his only son Jaysus down to earth to save us, God said he would have used DHL but they couldn’t guarantee virginal delivery.
Christians will buy into the idea that God’s son was conceived without any human interaction. She just hiccupped and there he was.
Christians will buy into the idea that Jausys was able to raise the dead, walk on water, make blind people see by throwing sand in their eyes and turn water into wine. Apparently he was a dab hand at the fitted kitchens too.
Christians will buy into the idea of Jaysus being killed and raising himself from the dead a neat trick in any religion.
Christians, well at the very least Catholics, will buy into the idea that a priest can turn wine and bread into the body and blood of Jaysus, transubstantiation. Some Christians believe that when the rapture comes all the good little Christians will be raised, quiet literally, into heaven. Be a bit of a shock if you’re having a dump or on the job at the time.
Christians will buy into the idea that their God is the only God and a lack of faith in their God will send you to hell. Oddly enough Muslims believe there is no God but their God and Mohammed is his prophet. I think Mohammed picked spuds with Jaysus's father once, or they had turnips in the same field or something. Muslims believe infidels, and that includes Christians, are going straight to hell. So we're all going to hell apparently, it could get busy down there, no need for an overcoat.
Christians will buy into the idea that if we're really really good, when we die, we'll go to heaven and live on a little fluffy cloud and dance with bunny rabbits and unicorns and shit.
But the idea that Christians might believe this same Jaysus was buried in a box in a hole in the ground, sure that’s feckin’ mental.
Max, hand me my fouling piece!
1 comment:
I'm a christian get me out of here!!
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